eh, hem emm

Let me clear my throat.

I really hate the cold i have had for the last couple weeks
I want it to be over with so I can take a deep breath without having to cough so hard that I feel my brain convulsing every time I do.  What the hell?  I thought cold's only happened in winter?

What do I think about blogging for creative writing?

I find that I have really enjoyed delving into the unique, or should I say different types of assignments that have raised rarely used thought processes for the blogging exercise.  I did not realize that I would have to actually write so much this semester, on blogger, or in class, but I have truly enjoyed the experience.  I will probably continue to write on blogger just to keep writing as it has brought out some sense of pride in the fact that I can write.   I can write.   Thank you

O alcohol

What do I owe you, and how much you have quelled my inner wonder?  These questions have been asked and answered by my own mind many a time over the years.

As I lift the near empty piece of aluminum, I wonder when I started to delve myself fully physically and mentally into your embrace. Why do I enjoy your company as much as I do?  And in the same moment I feel  as if you are my greatest enemy.  O alcohol, why must I love you?

The realization that I am a drunk, and that I live in an geological area that is full of drunks, I am without the barrier of most to see the error in the life that I lead.  I have been sober, and I like being sober but I cannot be without something.  Everyone has, NEEDS something.  A vice, and my body has chosen its own.


I just had the thought that NEEDS looks like it shouldn't be a word, are all words as strange looking?

Feeling

Feel

What a weird thing.  This sense is caused by nerves inside your body that send electrical impulses to your brain via the bodies central nervous system.  Feel alerts your body of dangers, of temperatures that are too hot or too cold, of things that are sharp or dull, or minor pains that amount to much larger things.

Feel also alerts a person of the things that the human body seeks.  The soft caress of a loved one, the nurturing comfort of a mothers hug, or the relaxation of that comes with sitting in a cushy chair.

Right now I feel a little cold, but not so much that I will bundle up.  I have been sitting on my office chair for the last hour and I feel my legs tightening up and my butt falling asleep.  I feel the weight of the atmosphere as  it presses down upon my body, reminding me that I am overweight and need to get my ass to the gym.

Feel is as physical as it is emotional.

Remembered conversation

"You understand that you will need to be in intensive rehabilitation sessions to regain your muscle mass, and that you may never walk again" my doctor stated slowly.

"I will heal, and I will regain the use of my leg.  I cannot afford rehab but I will build myself again."  I told my doctor defiantly, laying on my back with my leg raised above me.

"Ryan, you will need to be extra cautious.  This will take years to heal and you cannot rush your recovery." trying to instill some reality into my situation, my doctor looked straight into my eyes as he spoke.  "You are lucky to still have your leg as it is."

"No, I am lucky to have had a great surgeon,without whom I would not have my leg" I said, sitting up as far as I could so he could see the sincerity in my eyes as they started watering.  "I will use my leg again, and I will learn to walk again."  I said, promising to my doctor as much as to myself.

Land For Sale

For Sale:  Four acres of land, west side of Argusville, ND.  Exit 78 off I-29  701-***-****


He cannot believe it, he finally found a place to call home.  He has been working towards building his own house, scraping together every penny that he can.  It hasn't been easy to resist temptation, the draw of buying a new vehicle or renting a nice cushy hotel room, instead driving the same beat up old pickup and dragging around the worn out camper where he sleeps.  Getting work wherever is possible, mostly farm hand labor, helping others achieve their dreams with his hard work, hoping to have a fraction of what they own some day.  He is optimistic this day as he drags his equally hard working truck down a bumpy, well worn gravel road.  As he nears the plot for sale, he feels at peace, finally feeling like he is at home.

Rounding the last turn, he sees everything that he has dreamed of.  A wide, green field surrounded by a long shelter belt of tall, healthy trees.  He can picture where he will place the single story, sprawled out house he will build with his own two hands.  The barn where he will house his animals and equipment.  He even sees the beautiful wife he will have someday, waving to him as he pulls into their driveway, cradling their newborn baby boy named for his father.

With a silent tear sliding down his right cheek, he takes a deep breath and exits the old truck.  He is home.

Spring Break Forks Style

             So, today I have decided to spend a bunch of money on my car.  A little maintenance goes a long way, the only problem is I will be without a car for a day or so, not that big of deal, but this prompts me to re-install the battery in my truck and get that running.  It's a tough old bird, sitting and waiting for me to drive it again.  I had to move about 500 lbs of snow just to get to it. Exercise does a body good.  I am excited for summer weather so I can take it out on dirt roads and get to the good fishing spots, or go shoot my gun, or just haul some wood for a project I may have.  All only possible if I can get it running.  Eh, no problem.

Itchy Smitchy

     My feet are cold not itchy :)  I am itching to go waste some time and money today because I finally have a solid day off.  Hoooo boy, getting a haircut, buying some food, maybe get a new game, the sky is the limit today.  LOL  Have to finish homework, and looking forward to finishing Tanners' and Djimeli's papers.  It's a good thing

Like, Hate. Whatever, this is gonna take forever

Likes:  not in order
1.  The smell of garlic cooking  2.  sunsets 3. Momma (yes I said it) 4. trees and nature 5. family 6. dogs 7. fall 8. springtime 9. whiskey 10. cars 11. driving 12. being left alone 13. pasta 14. ribeye steak medium rare 15. eggs 16. chickens that crossed the road to get eaten 17. spicy food 18. beef jerky 19. playing video games 20. my computer 21. my laptop 22. watching some idiot driver get pulled over 23. doing back flips 24. spartacus 25. walking dead 26. homeland 27. futurama 28. fallout 29. battlefield 30. my families animals 31. my job at Deeks 32. my job at the Drunken Noodle 33. people who do the right thing 34. nice people 35. helping my brothers with their cars 36. this list is easier 37. being done with this list 38. Good scary movies 39.  Sci fy channel movies 40. Daydreaming 41. punching bag 42. stretching 43. playing catch 44. fishing 45. fixing cars 46. acceptance 47. the smell of the inside of a tool shed 48. rainstorms 49. breathing 50. the United States of America

Hates:  not in order
1. bad drivers 2. bad drivers on snowy roads 3. bad drivers 4. I hate bad drivers 5.  I really, really hate bad drivers  6. internet pop-ups 7. idiots 8. racists 9. spoiled people 10. whiners 11. working too much 12. being hungry 13. fake smiles 14. arguments with loved ones 15. missing people 16.  cold showers 17. two hours of sleep 18. questions that already have answers 19. ignorance 20. hateful people 21. negative Nancy 22. speaking in front of class 23. running out of money 24. chickens crossing the road 25. to get to the other side 26. I am running out of things to hate already 27. balloons 28. bad smells 29. I still haven't started likes yet :( 30.  blizzards 31. negative temperatures 32. losing while gambling 33. dummies at work 34. people who don't do their job right  35. doing laundry 36. washing dishes 37. spending money 38. staring at this list 39. my eyes are watering 40.  wheres waldo 41. Will Farrell 42. My computer just auto-corrected Will Farrells name, I hate that too. 43. is anyone actually going to read this? 44. professional basketball 45. lifting weights 46. squid 47. smelly fish 48. why cant it be fifty things I hate? 49. birds that make a lot of noise and wake me up 50. that they overplayed the hell out of Macklemore

Good? Bad? whats the difference, they are still there

         Why can I remember movies, almost all movies I have ever watched?  I can see two seconds of a movie and know exactly what it is.  Is this weird?  I have an ability here that I do not have anywhere else.  I don't know where it came from, or why but I scare myself a little, even movies I haven't seen I can still know what they are.  I think it's weird

That one time.....

         How does a person pick one favorite memory when there is more than one?  The first time I scored a touchdown in schoolyard football? no, no.  The time I got to sleep through the last few months of 8th grade history because of a broken arm? not this time.  The first time you got to meet your friend, a dog named Winston?  this could be  How about the time you were sitting in the seat next to your father as a young boy, happy just to be in the front seat for once, as he was driving you and your brother home across state to your mother.  And while riding along watching the fields fly by, you couldn't help listening to your older brother as he was saying how much he loved being with his father, and all the fun he had in the short time with him; in this moment so full of joy for your brother you look at your father, and see tears falling down his face, sadness that he let go of without making a sound, falling from behind his dark sunglasses.  the only time I ever saw my dad cry  Don't forget about all the times you were broken, laying in hospital beds, damning your existence.  And you would look over and see your mother, smiling and doing everything she could do to alleviate the physiological and psycological anguish boiling over inside of you.  Deep down knowing that without her beside your bed, you would not be able to handle what you were going through.  The fear growing stronger in the knowledge that one day you would have to.

I will always hold comfort in these memories.  They are the strongest I know.

The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing

Edmund Burke

I believe this quote could easily be a philosophy to live by.  In life many people arrive in situations where they have a choice.  To help or not to help?  That is the question.  With a little effort from everyone who is able this world could be so much better for everyone who inhabits it.  My mother raised me to be compassionate and understanding, not to judge people based on physical appearance but on the strength of the soul they possess.  I am thankful for this

Many Years, choosing, honing, ordering, imagining, creating, enduring

          Preparation for life takes a lifetime.  What to do, what to do.  How am I supposed to know where I am going if I don't know where I come from?  I mean that in an astrological sense, as a human, or more as an inhabitant of this world we call home.  Where does anything come from?  I have pondered this question with deep thought so many times over the years, and have yet to find an answer.  Why am I here?  More importantly, what will I accomplish with the time I am allowed?  This train of thought has been barreling for so long, and it has amassed too much momentum to ever stop.  Feeling like everything I do is just to take time until time takes me.
           What a strange concept.

ummm, Cise blogger

Link to each other this week: here's how. On the sidebar of my page "East Side Professor" to which now you all have a link... scroll down to view the Click on one of your classmates links so that you can grab their URL. Copy it and then go back to your page. Go to "edit" function on your sidebar to add them there.


1. Link to the person who tagged you
Simply Tiffany
Slice of Life Flavored Cheesecake
East Side Professor
2. Post these rules on your blog

3. Tell about your six quirks, see below.

4. Tag three bloggers to do the same
Olive Joos
A Peek At Crazy
Krazy Kittys Korner
5. Leave them a comment to let them know that you’ve tagged them

My six quirks:

1. If I get more than 7 hours of sleep I am more worthless than if I slept for 1 hour.


2. I absolutely love to procrastinate, there are just too many other things to do then the things I HAVE to do.


3. I really love to drive, so I got a job that pays me to do it. I especially love to drive early in the morning, like 2 a.m. on to 4 a.m. The streets are absolutely deserted and I don't have to deal with all the S***** drivers that seem to amble along then slam on their brakes for no reason. It just doesn't make sense to me how some people can be that horrible at something that is so awesome. I think people forget that a hundred years ago humans were driving horses. Also, if I had my way, everyone would have to take a driving course taught by myself or others like me before they were allowed a license. Boys drive worse then girls.


4. Does anyone else talk to themselves as much as me? I don't think so. I can hold a conversation with myself about anything, and often find myself telling myself to shut-up. Sometimes I wonder if this is normal.


5. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Blog Blog Blog, that's all you ever do. When I was like ten years old, I tried to write a book. It turned out to be like three pages of babbling that only a child would understand, it was about a dog, his name was Satan. Though I misspelled the name, and everyone of my older brothers made fun of me for writing a story about Satin, and how he was lost in the dessert. I misspelled that word as well. :) I think this experience made me learn how to spell, and I went on to beat the sixth graders in my school at the spelling contest. Sorry, I started babbling again.


6. I like to think that when I am comfortable with my surroundings I am a pretty funny person. I like to make other people laugh. Laughter is very important. If there wasn't laughter, would everyone always cry?

write I why

      The reason I write is undefined.  It depends on the mood that I am in, but this is not solely the only contributing factor.  Other things, the weather or some sort of loss, and occasionally alcohol also control what I write about.  I haven't written that often because I felt like I had been writing a lot for school subjects, so I am hoping this course will reawaken my drive to write.


             Until next time  Ryan